Whether running it on a toaster or a government-grade supercomputer, it will chug down memory like a fish chugs water and it’s not a matter of IF it’s going to break, but when. Back when I used to play it, I spent more time maintaining my save and trying to keep things functional than I ever did actually playing, and EA couldn’t be bothered to fix their messes before moving on to the next version as long as it sold.

• The behind-the-scenes scandals EA won’t acknowledge involving worker and fan relations.
• TS4 being an awkwardly retooled build of a would-be MMO that just wasn’t suited to be a numbered installment let alone a base game for several expansions.
• Inefficiency of swatches vs. create-a-style
• The needless shift not only from Open World but back to non-editable 2D neighborhoods a la TS1
• The awkward use of English in crossover content
• Horses getting shafted out of the Pets packs
• Lazy and awkward implementation of objects like the Arcade Machine or the Ball Pit
• Sheer irrelevance of Emotions as a game mechanic
• The fact Simbots and Servo still haven’t made a comeback
• That Servo hasn’t had its darker joints or purple highlights since TS1
• The continued absence of cars
• Threats like burglars, fires, aspiration arrest and the Repo Man no longer having as much impact or being wholly missing
• Dog houses being cut due to a well-publicized developer bias
• Strangerville in general
• The increasing price of an already-hundreds-of-dollars game that trickle-feeds content I actually want
• The constant rebooting of Simsville/Neighborhood 1 with each numbered installment in the series
• The fact more people now know “Bob Newbie” from Stranger Things than “Bob Newbie” from The Sims
• The fact The Newbies were replaced by The Pancakeses in TS4’s lore
• The fact The Goths have replaced The Newbies as unofficial mascots of the series
• The fact a bunch of nameless generic Millennial stereotypes have replaced The Goths as official mascots of the series
• The shift of the series’ branding from blue to oversaturated green and eye-searing white
• The loss of the house on the logo
• The overall lack of family elements even after packs devoted to just that
• Elders and Teens lacking unique elements to keep them interesting
• The sheer amount of clothing content that is clearly just a bunch of upstart designers flexing their originality instead of giving us something we’d ever actually use
• The inability of Maxis to properly color-coordinate content so they can actually match, even within the same sets sometimes
• The absolute lack of Memphis, Zeerust, Vegas and DooWop style content for The Sims from TS2 onward
• Rabbit Hole locations, because single objects and imagination are a perfect substitute for well-made community lots
• A desire for creative expansion pack neighborhoods like Vacation Island or Magic Town in TS1
• The obvious decay of business model and genre from Quirky Expandable Life Simulation to trend-riding point-and-click dollhouse
• The possibility of Grant working on if not heading TS5 so this nonsense continues
• The crushing realization that I’ve been saddled for life into a series that I once loved but has long since stagnated due to bad management, greedy ownership, lousy marketing, poor programming, demographic creep, awkward trend-chasing and a lack of proper competition to encourage innovation or effort.
• That I can’t bring myself to leave The Sims behind because there is literally nothing else like it to escape TO, so I just get progressively more frustrated that my money and time is being put into an unfulfilling experience I don’t even enjoy anymore but can’t do without, prompting me to be a burden on the fans who are still somehow enjoying it by voicing my frustrations, both the justified and petty, into a void where the biases may occasionally be confirmed by others dealing with the same annoyances but the underlying problems and concerns will probably never be answered.
• That this list originally started as satire but I’m on the verge of freakin’ tears here because I just realized my only escape from the misery of my day-to-day life in the world I life in has been ruined by the same corrupting factors that made reality so unbearable in the first place.
• … excuse me, I need some time to myself…

The Sims 4 is a product that’s had an uphill battle to prove itself since a messy launch and floundered in doing so at most opportunities through overhype or underdevelopment, so if anything taking the Silent Bob approach and only speaking when there’s something meaningful to say would probably actually BENEFIT its image more than it could ever damage it.