The Sims 4: Patch Notes Edition

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It’s only been 3 months since the release of The Sims 4, and the patch notes for the game are already hilarious. From random bug fixes to feature updates, here are some of the funniest patch note lines to date.

patch notes

 

September 1st, 2014

  • Fixed several issues with Sims attempting to go on dates with the Reaper, resulting in non-responsive game states.The Reaper still loves ya baby, he is just too busy to go on a date with every lovelorn Sim that vies for his attention.
  • You can now exit Build Mode when not on your home lot if a baby was incorrectly left in the home lot inventory.
  • Babies no longer multiply if left in the Household Inventory while editing the lot via Manage Worlds.

 

 

September 5th, 2014

  • It has been brought to our attention that some of our cute and adorable babies have had difficulty expressing themselves without… well… distorting. We have corrected the problem and pulled everyone back together.

 

 

October 1st, 2014

  • Sims who are reading or eating should no longer reset when changing wall heights of rooms that are nowhere near the
  • Fixed a floating Sim issue that would sometimes occur when the Sim decided that the direct “air” path was shorter than any of the alternate options
  • The “Barnish Bed” will no longer find that its pillow becomes possessed when a Sim gets in bed – a LOD (level of detail) issue resulted in the pillow bouncing around on its own when Sims went to sleep
  • Sims can now listen to music and play chess at the same time!
  • Librarians can now also be young adults and can be either male or female. Previously they were always female elders. Stereotyping… don’t do it!
  • Toys that say they increase a Childs creativity, now actually do
  • Autonomous Sims were finding it impossible to die by Cowplant because they would, during the moment of death, attempt to queue a Get Comfortable interaction, which, not being compatible with the Cowplants attempt at eating the Sim, would cause the Sim to reset, thus saving the Sim from death (woo!).  We’re sorry to say, we fixed the issue, once again putting our Sims in jeopardy with the Cowplant digestive desires.
  • Sims with unpaid bills will no longer find that the water & power has been shut off everywhere they go – you can properly mooch from your neighbors
  • Sims with spoiled food in their inventory will no longer find the option to clean spoiled food from the bar… that was just weird.
  • We addressed a negative current issue, where Sims were dying after being electrocuted just one time. It was shocking for us all. Our hair was on end when we learned of the problem.  We have quickly zapped the bug with thunderous attention and we’re a-buzz with this fix.
  • Gardening plants will no longer broadcast their emotions onto nearby Sims. They have been counseled and have learned to bottle up their emotions inside… deep deep inside.
  • Fixed an issue where Children who had maxed their social skill were incorrectly able to Flirt with themselves in the mirror

 

 

October 21st, 2014

  • Scrolling left in the Memory timeline will no longer freeze your game. Yea… we just… don’t ask…
  • The grieving period is over… Sims can now attempt to marry again if their fiancé has died.
  • Resurrected Ghosts by way of Ambrosia, will properly age up upon their return to the land of the living… which is unfortunate because they are just going to die again.
  • Fixed an issue that would cause a Sim to attempt to repair a working shower, if the broken shower was on the 2nd floor.

 

 

November 4th, 2014

  • You can now search for “TV” in Build Mode, because it turns out nobody uses the word television.
  • Fixed an issue where Sims refused to clean up books if the action was initiated through the bookshelf. It seems Sims prefer to be told directly, rather than the bookshelf leaning over and whispering “Hey, my books are showing.”
  • Fixed an issue that resulted in elder female Sims forgetting they had two legs, and instead walking with a one-legged stutter step, “Pardon me m’lady, but you have two legs.”
  • Fixed an issue where Sims were choosing to kneel at improper moments, being socially awkward, kneeling at the dining table, or similarly strange occurrences.
  • Children will no longer levitate when attempting to blow out the candles of a cake on a counter. Nobody believed the levitation really occurred anyway, and those who “saw” the levitation are no longer available for comment.
  • Fixed an issue with Ghosts possessing Grills, that would cause them to open the grill, examine the contents, close the grill, and then jump in.  We have informed the ghosts that the contents of the grill will have no bearing upon their dietary preferences, nor will they be viewed any differently for choosing to possess a grill when they just feel like possessing a grill.
  • Fixed an issue that would cause undo and redo to stop working if the undo action undid a foundation doing.
  • Fixed a “quick-click” issue. Delete floor, exit Build Mode, Sim is floating!  Ta-dah!

 

 

November 25th, 2014

  • Fixed a crash that was the result of long term gameplay instability in the UI framework that only occurred after moving, traveling, creating new families, and building for some time. Also known as playing the game.
  • Fixed a crash wherein should you click on an underwater light and change the dimness setting, and you do that again, and you do it again, and then again, again, again, again, again… the game would crash. The waters are safe again.
  • Casual “if you were swimming before you went to work” Workdays have been cancelled, and Sims will once again spin into their work outfit before going to work.
  • Children and Teens can no longer be modified with the sims.add_buff Buff_Pregnancy_Trimester3 cheat.
  • We fixed an animation issue that can best be described as “we fixed an issue that caused Sims to scratch their back with their elbows when they chose to sit at the edge of a pool with a drink in their hand.” It wasn’t pretty. Thankfully no Sims were permanently scarred by the experience.
  • Pregnant Sims have temporary immunity from drowning per a previously agreed upon pact with the Reaper. However, if the pregnant Sim found that they “should” have died while in the pool, their buffs would get all wonky (actual technical term as used by the production team). The buff wonkiness has been fixed.
  • Pool ladders have an interaction “Get In” that you can choose when clicking on them. Now, when you choose that action, it will do something.
  • If a Sim decided to cancel their adventure in the Forgotten Grotto to go swimming, the Forgotten Grotto would forget that Sim existed, preventing them from adventuring within her forgotten realm. We have spoken to the Forgotten Grotto, explaining that the pool is just another place that Sims want to go, that they have not forgotten the Grotto, they will return once again, but that the Forgotten Grotto can’t forget them, and they must be allowed once again to enter the Forgotten Grotto, lest they be forgotten and thusly forget the Forgotten Grotto. The Forgotten Grotto, jealous… yes. But also forgiving.